Just another day in the rat race

I spent yesterday inside trying to stay warm. My only trip outside was to get milk at the store. This is day 2 of being broke. By being broke I mean that I can't get any more moeny than the $5 plus change I have in my pocket. That means I can't buy gas or drinks or food or anything that exceeds $5 until I next get paid which won't be until January 31. I have determined that I will survive for the next 9 days with just that. I am holding out the $5 for gas just in case. I have everything I need I think. I don't need anything at the grocery store... plenty of food for me and Tigger to eat. I have almost a half a tank of gas in the car, probably enough as long as I stay local. I work from home the next week and I have my LIRR ticket for all the trips I'll need. The only problem I have is I will not be able to go out on Friday night or the rest of the weekend. I guess I can do that.

I got an email from Olga yesterday. Why do I feel the need to keep in touch with someone who is so unstable that I don't think she even knows what she is doing half the time. This is from the email she sent;

Going to send you another CD, don’t waste your time on writing e-mails until you receive it – then, hit me back.

 

PS: Look for Irish girlfriend, they are mostly closer to you. Look for a one who used to date coast-guard, and staying for several years along after – they are usually sick, and don’t require more than shelter (not even food).

 

 

She also included a more recent photot.

 

Why does she think I need her advice on a girlfriend? I can't even figure out half of what it is she is trying to say. She wants to give me another CD of music I probably will only listen to once. And no emails until then ... you know what, that's easy. My first impulse is to tell her to keep the CD and not to expect any more emails. But then I have this other little voice in my head that says she means well and I should just relax and let her do what she wants. It's not like she is asking for anything. And she clearly has no interest in seeing me. Thank God she lives all the way in Brooklyn and likely couldn't find me even if she wanted to.

 

What is it about me that makes me maintain there dysfunctional relationships? I guess the only answer is that I may only have a choice between dysfunctional or none at all.

 

So other than thay yesterday uneventful. The most excitement has been that I've gotten several comments after my entries. For the longest time I felt I was writing to no one. I rarely look at the counter for visits to the blog so I never know how much gets read. It does give me encouragement to be as honest and open about myself without appearing too flawed. Thanks for letting me know you are there.

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